21 January 2007


So this all started when an email I received from an Argentine tour company had some Spanish I could not figure out. I cut the text and translated it at freetranslation.com. I wrote an email in response, and translated it from English to Spanish. Just to see that it made sense, I converted the Spanish translation back to English, and I found that my sentence:

"I think I will book a hostel when I arrive," translated to "I think I will reserve a youthful shelter when I arrive."

Playing on the automatic translator's colloquial malfunctions, I wrote the following paragraph:

Remember when we were just innocent rascals, running through the fields all day bright eyes and bushy tails, getting into a mess of trouble? Well those soggy days have all dried up, big spender! Now we have to take it on the chin. I can't just go slapping some chick across the face until she gets to whining. I can't keep living in this hostel, watching television with a rag on my crotch. I have to get out there and show these immigrants I mean business. As the Good Lord says, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Praise the Lord, brother man, see you in hell.

This is what that paragraph looks like after I translated it from English to Spanish, back to English, back to Spanish then English again, then to French and back to English:

It recalls when we were naughty scarcely of the innocent ones, running for the eyes of fields the whole day brilliant and the dense lines, entering a disorder of the problem? Well these days are soaked that all it dried, big extravagant! Now we have to take it in the chin. I cannot go to slap scarcely some chick by the face until she came to moan herself. I cannot maintain to live in this young refuge, look at the television with a rag in my parenthesis. I have to leave over there and show these immigrants I bad deals. When the Good Mister says, you can direct a horse to water but you cannot cause that it drinks it.

The compliment Mister, the man of brother, it it sees it in the hell.

Then I took the paragraph above and translated it into German, back to English, then to Russia and back. The results are poetic, dreamy, absurd. This 15 minute exercise was a hell of a lot of fun.

It calls back when we were rough hardly innocent, what for eyes of it all the day long a brilliant of areas and dense run of lines, continuing the disorder of a problem? The goods now become it all absorbed which is dried up it, substantially extravagant! Now we should take it in a chin. I cannot go to strike hardly a chicken through the person, while it has not arrived to groan directly. I cannot keep to live in this young refuge, to consider TV with a cloth in my clip. I should leave there there and badly I should show these firms of immigrants. If the gentleman of the goods speaks, you cannot conduct, can force to irrigate a horse however you it, that it drinks it.

The gentleman of a compliment, the person sees it the brother, it it in a hell.

14 January 2007

Albums of 2006.

Haven't done this in a while... and it goes without saying that I didn't listen to a lot of white kids this year.

1. Cat Power, The Greatest.

2. The Game, Doctor's Advocate.
This record made me realize that The Documentary (2005) Is a work of art. This record is just a decent follow-up, but by decent I mean a classic in its own right.

3. Outkast, Idlewild.
A quiet little epic. Astonishing. The Train is my favorite song of the year.

4. Africando, Ketukuba.
Every other African album I listened to for the first time this year came out between 1970-2005. But definitely the 9th best Senegalese record I heard this year and probably the year's best.

5. o'death, head home.
Wow this is a good, messy, tinny, refreshingly under-produced record.

6. Beyonce, B'Day
She's the greatest female R&B singer... ever? Yeah, ever. OK Aretha Franklin. Fine.

7. Man Man, Six Demon Bag
I enjoy listening to this record, but not as much as I enjoy playing 20 or 30 seconds of it for other people. That's enough for 7 on my list.

8. Nas, Hip Hop is Dead.
I never thought that I'd say Nas would put out a better record than Jay-Z in any year, and I doubt it will happen again. Or that Nas and Jay-Z would put out records on the same label, or that Nas would feature Jay-Z on his record.

9. Boris, Pink
Just when I thought the L Train was getting too loud to comfortably listen to music (the all-new-trains and their perpetual announcements) this record swoops in at the beginning of December to be loud as hell. Bravo!

10. Clipse, Hell Hath No Fury.
Feels so old school. Just feels good.

Records I wanted to like:
-The Decembrists, The Crane Wife.
Not quite good.

-Jeremy Enigk, World Waits.
Can't listen to this without getting Coldplay songs in my head.

-Beck, The Information.
A couple standout tracks. Then its just a muddled mess of crap.

-Common, Be
This would be on my list but it came out in 2005.

-Justin Timberlake, Futuresex/Lovesounds
This is pretty lightweight stuff. Heard Sexyback and thought, "Woah." But its a lot of falsetto postmodern Andy Gibb, which is like saying its not quite pseudo BeeGees.

-James Brown Live At the Apollo
I wanted this to be on my list but it came out in 1963, 1968, 1971, 1995 and in 2001 (on CD and DVD).

-Band of Horses
Wait, I didn't want to like this. Why is this on here? This record sucks.

-The Strokes, First Impressions of Earth
If there was a number 11... This is a great album.

BONUS!!! While I'm doing this...

Songs of 2006
1. Outkast, The Train
2. Ghostface Killah, The Champ
3. Beyonce, Suga Mama
4. Nas & Kanye West, Still Dreaming
5. The Strokes, Red Light
6. Beck & Pharell, Frontin on Debra (Remix/Mash-Up)
7. Arctic Monkeys, Fake Tales of San Francisco
8. Christina Aguilera, Ain't No Other Man
9. Cat Power, The Greatest
10. Gnarls Barkley, Gone Daddy Gone